Training your man...

I had a friend who was really ’strict’ with her man – if she even caught him looking at another woman, she’d get moody and angry.

She was a gorgeous, beautiful girl who had nothing to worry about – he adored her – and I used to think her approach was wrong.

But I had to rethink that. As she put it – men behave as badly as you let them. And they are constantly testing to see how much you’ll put up with.

Also don’t forget – they’re on their best behaviour in the first three months, so if it’s pretty bad at the start, it’s only going to get worse.

It’s an interested exercise in self esteem – often when we think we’re not good enough, we compensate by being compromising, and downplaying our needs. Rather than coming from a place of ‘consideration’ we’re coming from a lack of love of ourselves.

I guess there’s the other extreme also – where women are bitter and angry – and that comes from a lack of self esteem also ie: ‘I’m going to hurt you and leave before you do the same to me’.

So I guess it’s the balance – between coming from a place of true confidence and love of yourself – and being able to say strongly and confidently the way you will and won’t be treated.

As Wayne Dyer says in Pulling Your Own Strings – people treat you the way you train them to treat you. So when someone treats you badly you must ask ‘how did I train you to treat me that way?’