Saw the movie ‘The Last Kiss‘ last night which is such a great film.
It’s about the perfect relationship going wrong. The main character’s girlfriend finds out she’s pregnant – and he goes through an emotional journey, of cheating on her, but immediately finding his certainty about their relationship again, and having to win her back.
He says he cheats because he gets cold feet – but I think the ultimate reason is he can’t share his feelings of fear with her as he’s scared she’ll go nuts (she’s a very strong woman and likes to think she has her relationship under control).With that comes alienation, and the ability for him to lie about where he’s going on one, and then kiss her on the lips goodbye, and go on a date with another girl.
Through the film, the girlfriend also needs to learn the lesson that the quality of your relationships will depend on the amount of uncertainty you can handle. It becomes very obvious in the film that she thinks she’s gotten her boyfriend ‘all worked out’ and she knows how to make him happy, and miserable. She even goes as far to lecture on relationships to her mother who quite rightly points out ‘Don’t think you know what goes on in a marriage of 30 years, because you don't. She feels totally certain about their relationship – because she thinks she’s in control – which isn’t healthy or sustainable.
They say that sometimes just continuously accusing a guy of cheating is exactly what will drive him to go cheat. This movie illustrates that. He figures he’s already gotten in trouble for going on a date with someone else, so when thrown out, he goes back to the girl and sleeps with her. Also drawing the other girl further into his problem.
The other girl. This subplot explores the fact that actually the glitter of a new fling dies very quickly – the other, younger girl whilst attractive and carefree clearly doesn’t have the emotional connection he has with his partner. She also suddenly isn't as carefree as what was originally appealing. She turns up to his work as he wont answer her calls, and appears so very young – which is a big turn off for him. It breaks her heart when he comes clean about the fact that he’s having a baby, and although he admits it – he doesn’t spend any time consoling her and walks away. I don’t think the director wanted the audience to hate her in particular, but just to see that she was young and naive.
So two lessons really
1. Open communication is the key to avoiding cheating. The minute you withhold information from your partner, you are on your own.
2. The qualify of your love life will depend on how much uncertainty you can handle. Dont ever assume you just know the other person. You will be constantly getting to know them over the years – and this will keep things fresh and new. And it shows so much respect for the other person.
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